On the nature of miscommunication

So- a friend and I talked about going to brunch together after church. We both had some things to do at the church that wouldn't take long. I mentioned that I would be going to see my mother at the nursing home (near the church)after she had her lunch. She mentioned something about just meeting at the brunch place- since it was close to my home. I mentioned something about just meeting at her place- not far away from the church and we could just go together. I drive over to her place and wait, parking in front of her building. Her car was still there at the back of her building. No sign of her. I check around front- then check back- and the car is gone. I start driving over to the brunch place when common sense hit me. Call first, dummy- and, while you're at it- think this through. So, I look up the restaurant's number in my mighty Kindle and call. She's there. They let me talk to her. She says-"I thought you misunderstood what I was saying." I reply that it just didn't make sense for me to travel in and back several times in one day-since I still needed to see Mom (it's Mother's day) and then I wished her a good time. So- I went to see Mom instead before her lunch. And-of course-fumed about it.

And here's how my fuming went:

• When will I ever learn? This is the same person who -when I could barely walk- took me to my orthopedist and then informed me I needed to find my own way home. or wait 4 hours for her to swing by and pick me up. Then she felt bad about it (5 hours later) and called to see if I'd made it home. And tried to tell me that what happened was my fault.


• Given what I related above, I might have had to get a cab or bus ride back from the restaurant if we'd gone together.


• If she thought I'd misunderstood when we were originally talking about this, why didn't she clarify? She walked right by my car to get to her place. What did she think was happening? What's really going on here?


• My life is more complicated than I'd like it to be at the moment. My paying job is either going to drastically change or I may be forced to retire before I want to. My mother is newly in a nursing home and I visit her everyday. I'm trying to get my life back on track after the events of the last seven years. Going out to brunch with a friend would have been a treat-but does even that one thing have to be so complicated? Probably not.


• If I had caved and went toodling off to the restaurant, I would have been traveling 40-45 miles today instead of the 18-20 mile roundtrip. Not smart in to travel 2 days worth of mileage in one day- especially in these days of nearly $4 a gallon gas prices.

Did I come to any conclusions? You betcha. Cut down on needless drama. I have enough without inviting more. No more spur-of-the-moment plans. No more planning without clarification, clarifying the clarification, clarifying the clarification of the clarification.